Annika Kuusk



This is something personal to uncover but I am still going to share my experience so that maybe you can have some recognition or good information for the future.

In 2017, my husband and I started to feel that maybe we are ready to be parents. We were in Bali in spring and we really asked for the signs that prove or disprove our feelings.

Firstly, we got news about his younger sister who announced about her pregnancy while we were in Bali. We were so happy for her! Although my husband felt that the clock is ticking as her sister is 7 years younger…

Secondly, there was an interesting trip from one island to another. We entranced to a ferry that was totally overcrowded. There were only two seats available for us. So we took these two. Exactly in front of us, there was an only child of this ferry – a little brown-eyed lovely boy. I didn’t really get why he was staring at me so much. He literally looked so deeply into my eyes for a long time and smiled at me so much. We really had a great connection. But we all have had this kind of situations, right? However, it took some time for me to open my eyes and see the back of his father’s neck. He had a tattoo with a clear Christian cross! As my God is Jesus, I realised that this was a clear answer to my prayer!

Thirdly, when we went to the airport, I got a phone call. I was asked to act in a commercial. It was a role that I had never been offered before. I had to act a pregnant mom, with a child in the ultrasound clinic! I was asked: “Is this topic okay for you?” I thought that this is it – I have got enough answers in my heart and answered: “Yes, we really love this topic!” So we had our first experience with ultrasound and watching ultrasound baby pictures. When we finished our commercial-shooting, the doctor blinked his eye and said very cleverly: “See you soon!” 🙂
The commercial is available in here:

I began to change my life even healthier – I didn’t dye my hair anymore, I tried to use only very pure natural cosmetics etc. Also, I didn’t eat pills anymore, I discovered a fertility calculator Daysy (dayly synchronisation device) instead. I really recommend it to all women who care about their health and environment. It has been researched that pills are not only harming your own health as well as the ecosystems (fish etc). Daysy is a fertility calculator that uses the fertility awareness method by learning and tracking your menstrual cycle. Daysy shows you the days you are fertile or not. This way, you can plan a pregnancy or use a hormone-free, barrier method to prevent a pregnancy, you choose.

So the time passed and I had thought enough about this life change. I was getting ready step by step. So in July, I took a positive test at home! Having it all planned, I knew that it was probably going to happen soon, but still, I couldn’t believe that it happened so fast! We were given a huge gift! When my husband woke up, I put this song on:

We were both so happy and thankful! ❤❤❤


And then all the “fun” began…

FIRST TRIMESTER  (weeks 0-16) – extremely difficult

If I should describe my first trimester with one word, it would be AWFUL. Surely, I felt okay at the very beginning, but when the 6. week began… oh my! I didn’t expect that! My symptoms were so bad that I literally felt that I was going to die! Here are the main symptoms I had:

  • endless nausea – not only in the mornings but all day long
  • headaches
  • weakness –  I just had to lay down all day long
  • appetite decrease – I felt that I couldn’t eat anything at all even though I was hungry
  • fatigue – I have never been so exhausted in my life!
  • vomiting – this is why taking pregnancy vitamins was pretty complicated
  • heightened sense of smell – I didn’t know that it is so difficult, if you feel so many smells and they all make you sick; I couldn’t open the refrigerator or garbage bin even when these were super clean; I also hated the smell of any kind of grill (meat, bread etc).
  • extremely bad facial skin – despite the good skincare, the hormones just did their job on me 🙂

Every day I hoped that the next day will be better… but it was not! Usually, all the bad symptoms disappear by the week 12, but mine lasted until the 16.-17. week. Luckily, I could do the remote work at home most of this period! However, I suffered some weeks at work, but then it was a little bit better – I felt OK in the morning but nausea and all the bad stuff returned about 4 p.m.

I can say that this is extremely difficult to keep my pregnancy as a secret when you feel so terrible. I had to lie to everybody and act like I was feeling good. I cancelled all my projects, meetings, events in August and September because I just couldn’t do anything at all. To conclude, this period was so difficult, I don’t want anyone to experience symptoms like this!

SECOND TRIMESTER (weeks 16-28) – good time with some severe challenges

The second trimester is often the best time for every pregnant woman. So, I also felt much better and my awful symptoms started to fade away. Unfortunately, I overworked. Overall, the autumn was very busy at work and on one Saturday I organised the international conference to 100 people. The preparation was pretty complicated and this was a long day full of running and solving different problems. I gave my best. I gave too much. A couple of times, I ran outside without any jacket. It was a pretty cold day. No wonder that this evening I felt exhausted and got very ill. So on one hand, my earlier symptoms were disappearing, but on the other hand, I had a bad cold that lasted for 3 weeks! No wonder I got ill because I overworked, didn’t eat as healthy as I should and overall the immunity system goes down during pregnancy. One of my colleagues argued that the immunity system improves when pregnant. I disagreed and asked my doctor to be sure. Indeed, I was right!

In October we decided to go on a vacation to improve my health and balance. So we went to Cyprus! It wasn’t very hot in there at the beginning of November, but this vitamin-D and stressless healed me very quickly!

The highlight was definitely the second-trimester ultrasound! This is the one when they can see the baby’s sex! I asked the doctor to secretly write it on a paper so that we could watch it afterwards. We went to the restaurant and I opened it first. It is a BOY! I was really happy! I showed it to my hub and he said victoriously “Yesss!” 🙂 By the way, I saw it in my dreams that it is a boy 🙂

I was living a quite normal life in November and December but the end of the year (also the end of the second trimester) was mentally difficult. One day before the Christmas, I lost my dear grandfather. I was surprisingly calm at the beginning and I mainly tried to support my mom and granny. I tried to be strong in order to protect my baby. However, I got lost for many times. The funeral day was the worst day of 2017. In the beginning, I couldn’t join the funeral as I was in shock as I see it was actually happening. Then I took all my strength to say goodbye to my loveliest grandpa who was one special soul.
Sadly, he died about 3 months before seeing his first grandchild. Although, I was happy that before saying goodbye to him, he got the news about his first great-grandchild. He was very sick and couldn’t speak much, but he smiled 🙂

Sadly, at the end of this day, we got the other bad news about a difficult disease of a close relative. So we had to deal with this problem for several weeks. And this wasn’t easy at all. I was mentally devastated by the end of the second trimester.

Overall, I had very few symptoms:

  • exhaustion in the afternoon
  • some days I didn’t feel my legs and I was having trouble walking
  • different kind of back pain
  • extreme nerve ache in a chest (after overworking again!) – I even went to the hospital, but everything was OK, I just needed to rest, relax and get some more sleep

THIRD TRIMESTER (week 29-40) – the final countdown

I was a bit afraid of this period, as some said the fatigue and exhaustion come back. Surprisingly, I felt great! I thought that it is fair to me as the first trimester was a nightmare.

We also visited the private clinic to get the last ultrasound picture of our little one and just to make sure that baby is still doing great. And he did! To our surprise, right now he looked like me rather than my husband! So weird! When the baby is born, it would be interesting to compare him with the ultrasound picture.

I also left my job in February. It was sad at the beginning but afterwards, I realised that it was a very right thing to do. I needed more and more sleep and I concentrating on the new life. So I took more and more lectures and started to get some physical exercise to get well prepared. Some people thought that I will get bored at home but I can guarantee that I haven’t got bored for a second. Only boring people get bored, haha! 🙂 As you can see from the pictures, I look pretty tired on my last day at work. It was definitely last time to leave…

One week later I got a baby shower surprise from my friends! On Saturday, Tanel and I went outside for a lunch and when we came back home, they all shouted: “Surprise!” I was in shock about 5 minutes because I really didn’t expect that! The room was decorated, they had gifts for my baby and they had made some healthy vegetarian dishes! So lovely! I was very happy! I also had a baby wrapping challenge – our little 2 months old neighbour Benjamin was a great model as he didn’t cry at all.

It felt like there are so many things to do and I want to do only the positive things. Although, I am forced to think of my future and this is why much of my time goes on crypto-investments right now…

In conclusion, my third-trimester symptoms were:

  • lower back pain when standing or sitting for too long
  • sometimes shortness of breath
  • a necessity for more air
  • definitely increased necessity to pee 🙂

But what is the most important – baby is doing super great and is very active and strong! 🙂 It feels like he is at the gym, doing some leg lift-ups or something… I can say that this is the most surreal experience of my life. God has it all planned so precisely well and wonderful.

Share your pregnancy story with me! Every story is unique and interesting!


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